i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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