I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
