I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
