i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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