I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
