Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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