i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
