smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
