So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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