Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
