There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We're too hungover to prance.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
