At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
