You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
