Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
