So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
