Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
