I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
