So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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