Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
