The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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