I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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