i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
