There was a lot of him and a little penis
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
