Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
