You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
