We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
