i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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