I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
