I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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