i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
