i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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