I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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