Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
