meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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