The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
