Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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