wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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