Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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