Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
