Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
