yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
