I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Panties = found
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
