When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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