Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
