and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
