I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Randomize
