Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
