his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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