you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
