I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
