what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
